It seems that honor has suffered a rather potent deterioration over the past several decades. For that matter so has the concept of dignity. At least this is what I'm led to believe given my observations of the western hemisphere. But I suppose I could say much the same about the ideas of honor and dignity in the eastern hemisphere as well. I've noticed that, for the most part, wherever people do talk of honor in many cases it is a pathetic misunderstanding of the dynamics and value involved. And among most people it seems that it is a concept that has become archaic or quaint or disregarded all together. But I would like to explain my philosophy on honor and dignity. I think I must begin with the concept of individual honor in relation to society and the dynamics and value of honor. I hope that I will be able to adequately establish by the end of this article why I think we should reconsider the import of honor and dignity in our lives.
Let me now address where I think that far too many people go wrong with their brand of "honor". We can look at the cases of "troubled" inner-city youth, or more specifically thugs and gang members. In which I have been witness to the manifestation of the common concepts of honor in such cases. I mean that I have all too often seen and heard people challenge others tenaciously on the grounds of a perceived transgression of "honor". Some thug will say, for example, that he must attack another person because that person is believed to have insulted his girlfriend. This in many ways stems from the archaic notions of chivalry. I will cover the misconception of insults as an impact on honor just a little later, but I think most of us are familiar to some degree with this ideology in the west.
For now I want to turn attention to eastern ideas of honor. First, let's look at "honor killings" particularly in the middle east. Generally, this is the result of a misguided, and usually religiously influenced cultural notion of individual honor and its presumed impact on "familial honor". There have been in recent years stories in the media of people, usually women, who have been murdered by family members on the supposed grounds that for some reason the person brought dishonor to the family and that in order that the family's honor be restored the family member must be murdered. Often this idea of murdering a female family member to restore a family's honor stems from Islamic notions that women are not equal to men and should not be allowed to leave the house without a male escort, or at least a few other women.
Additionally, women are required to wear body and facial coverings that are intended to enforce modesty because it is a fundamental notion of Islam that it is a woman's fault if a man should desire her and not be able to behave himself respectably. It is essentially the idea that if a woman didn't want to be raped she should have not be born with a vagina. Okay, perhaps that is over simplifying it slightly. The idea is that men are susceptible to temptation and that women are seductresses and so modesty is so utterly important. It's fair to say that it is possible to have a culture of Muslim people who are enlightened enough to give up such barbaric and misogynistic aspects of their religion, but those cultures are not usually the same ones in which "honor killings" are acceptable.
On a side note, both Christianity and Judaism have in their religious books a large amount of barbarity and backwardness as well that the vast majority of believers refuse to practice. But the difference is that among Jews and Christians those who practice such horrible teachings are a minuscule minority, while in Islam I would bet that most believers still adhere much more closely to the vile parts of the teachings. We should look at Saudi Arabia as an example of the type of backward culture that I mean. It is a nation in which women who are rape victims have been put to death. Or when the more humane mood strikes them they imprison her on the presumption that her word is worthless against the man's and that she should have known better than to be outside the home without her owner's permission.
Of-course, to placate their western business interests, i.e.: oil consuming nations like the US, they will occasionally imprison the man as well. Though the man's punishment for raping a woman is usually much less time in prison than hi victim's punishment. In my opinion the Saudi government is, along with its officials and the general population, without honor because of their abuse of women and children.
Then there is the concept of honor in east Asia, China and Japan for example. Their concepts of honor are not all together bad, though I see some flaws. One of my complaints would be the pressure applied by the family on an individual to maintain his/her honor, because it is assumed that one's own honor affects the honor of one's family and friends. This is in some ways similar to my objection to the misconceptions of honor among western gang members and "thugs". The flaw is the presumption that another person's behavior or words can affect one's honor. It appears to me to be some sort of primitive, almost caveman like notion.
In my philosophy of honor and dignity one's honor can only be affected by one's own words, actions and behavior. If a person, for example, calls my mother a "bitch" neither my honor nor my mother's is affected, instead it is the honor of the one who is slandering my mother that is affected. Everyone can clearly see that that person made an uncalled for attack upon my mother, and so they should shun that person for such a 'low blow'. As a matter of fact, if I were to attempt to defend my mother's honor because of such an insult, I would not only harm my honor by attacking that person, but it could be seen as giving some credence to that accusation. This would mean that I would be in essence contributing to the insult, and thereby insulting my mother as well. The insult would be perceived as possibly having some truth by my actions and so could affect my mother's image in the minds of those who were an audience to the whole affair. Sadly, that is how people would see it even if her honor should not be affect by such insults.
Additionally, it cannot harm one's own honor if one's father were a bank robber or one's daughter failed to get the most desirable marks in school. Those things can only affect the honor of the individual that failed or did wrong, etcetera even if that person is a relative or friend. In the real world people are responsible for themselves whether they like it or not. But apart from parents being responsible for the development, education and well-being of their children, no other person can be responsible for anyone else.
It may have served to the societal advantage in the past to have pressure placed upon the relatives of the individual. Certainly there would have been a force at work to police a person's behavior when it would bring dishonor to the rest of the family. This notion of the individual's honor affecting the family's honor, in a time when there was not an effective police force as there is today in most places, really made sense for social order. So I would say that in this day and age we can discard the archaic notion. We are not only more enlightened today, but we have the means and ways to enforce the laws and order well. But I do not see this as the bell tolling for the whole concept of honor, but rather a reason to modify it. It is my opinion that honor and dignity still have a place in everyone's life.
We can and should shun those who commit crimes, are unfaithful to their partners, endanger others, disrespect others and otherwise shame themselves. I would like to first point out that there are some other archaic notions that should be left in the garbage heap as we reconstruct a modern civilized idea of honor and dignity. For example, there is nothing immoral, undignified or dishonorable in consenting adults engaging in sexual conduct with other consenting adults outside of or before marriage, so long as one is not cheating on one's partner. By this I mean that if one has a serious and thorough conversation with one's partner and without any type of coercion or manipulation one's partner grants permission to have sex with others then it is acceptable. But cheating is immoral and dishonorable because it is disrespectful and a blatant betrayal of the necessary trust of another person, in this case one's partner.
Additionally, there can be no immorality, dishonor or indignity for a woman to assert herself, including to pursue a person she might sexually desire and to initiate sex. One's sexual orientation cannot affect one's honor either, though thinking of some recent cases of politicians and preachers who vocally condemn homosexuality only to be caught in a scandal that exposes their own homosexual relations I would say that hypocrisy is immoral and dishonorable.
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